How do you chart BBT or basal body temperature?

I charted for 2 years and used fertilityfriend.com to chart.  I've received many questions regarding how to chart and even pictures of people's charts asking for my opinion.  This post will be about the basics of how to chart your BBT.

After you set up an account on fertilityfriend.com (or whatever method or site you choose), you want to start immediately putting in any back information you may have.  If you've been keeping track of when your AF (aunt flow) has started and stopped previously, enter all that information in without entering a temp so the site can gather previous information which in turn will help with your current cycle. 

When do you take your temp?  You want to be quite strict when you take your temp.  Most women take their temp when they wake up in the morning.  The bottom line is you have to have 4 hours of consecutive sleep before you take your temp.  It should be taken at the same time everyday or you will develop open circles in your chart which will alter your ovulation date.  You can temp vaginally or orally however, you must have a thermometer that says "basal body thermometer", they do sell one at walgreens and walmart.

It's not very important to temp during your menstruation although getting into the routine of temping every day is extremely helpful.  Charting your cervical mucus (CM) is very helpful as you must have 2 charted signs (temperature, CM, OPK, Mon or cervical position) in order for FF (fertility friend) to recognize an ovulation date.

If you are gearing up to ovulate, you may receive a positive OPK (ovulation test) or a dip in your temperature which means your temp will drop however; FF will not give you cross hairs (CH) until your temp then rises and continues to rise for three consecutive days.  This is where many women get confused and question whether the site is working for you or not.  Have faith that FF is calculating your cycle and a good rule of thumb is to "do the deed" every other day and especially if your temp drops.

It is common after FF gives a women CH that a few days into a rising temp there will be another dip, do not panic as this is also common and is the result of our constant fluctuating hormones.

Those are the basics to how to chart BBT and I hope this was helpful to those who are wanting to chart or have questions.  If you are TTC actively please remember to start taking a prenatal vitamin as folic acid is important in the month prior to conceiving and the first trimester of any pregnancy.  Tips to conceive faster are to cut out caffeine and to quit smoking.  Remember they advise women under 30 to try for a year before seeking medical help and women over 30 to try for 6 months before seeking medical help.

Insensitive comments or actions regarding infertility

It's fairly common when struggling through infertility whether you're diagnosed or not, to hear very insensitive comments regarding trying to conceive (TTC).  You always feel like you've heard it all and at one point you're so tired of hearing the same comments it starts to hurt.  I remember telling my sister at one point that I didn't want to hear, "Relax, don't stress so much it will happen...".  After years of TTC and never getting remotely a faint positive or anything, it was nearly impossible to not stress or worry.

Even after I went to the doctor and discovered I would have never been able to conceive naturally, I continued to receive the same comments and though they felt it was supportive to tell me to: relax, don't stress, god will bless me with a child when he sees we're ready, stop charting, have lots of sex or even maybe you're not ready that's why it isn't happening; it wasn't.  None of them were supportive or helpful one bit and I don't think people really realize how hurtful their comments could be.

No matter what you're personal situation with infertility may be, it is never easy going through this struggle and being invited to birthdays or baby showers becomes harder and harder for us to attend as it's a blatant sight that what we want is much harder for us to gain.  At one point, I've been considered a person who dislikes children which is so hard to hear and brings me to tears whenever I hear a comment in this direction.  Those of us who struggle with infertility do not hate children and those who assume couples without children do are being very hurtful.

Regardless if the invites to birthdays and baby showers subside, the constant reminder of lacking the one thing you want is always present in: grocery stores, movie theaters, around holidays, mother's day, father's day and general association with the general population.  Two years into my infertility journey forced me to delete my facebook account.  I emotionally couldn't handle another pregnancy announcement or anything that involved getting pregnant or raising a child.  Many see this as selfish but it was something I had to do for myself.

Even after my facebook ceased to exist, I was still receiving updates on family member's children or pregnancy announcements.  I can recall getting a phone call from a distant cousin who announced she was pregnant.  The conversation took a turn when she mentioned, "I know you and you're husband have been trying which is why I waited so long to tell you... how is that going by the way?".  None of this was supportive or helpful in anyway.  When I got off the phone that day, I cried to my husband for hours.

And finally when her child was born, she texted me a birth picture announcement and when I responded "congrats" I heard nothing back which of course forced me to question whether she understood how sensitive this subject was for me.

I honestly don't think many people in our lives or in this world really consider what effect they have on others.  Their comments and actions become so insensitive to us that we begin to build a wall and we stop talking about our struggles and worries.  If you have a friend or family member who is childless, please do not assume they don't want children.  Feel free to ask them once if they have a child or want children but remember that many couples (1 in 8) suffer from infertility issues and the subject is socially taught to be shameful. 

#TTC #infertility #insensitive

My infertility story

In my introduction I mention I met my husband in 2005 and we married at the end of 2009 and finally talked about children in early 2010.  So here is my infertility story from that moment on until now.

We casually tried for a child for several months.  We weren't "actively" trying but we weren't preventing it.  And since my periods were so abnormal (I would be on my period for several weeks or months and then not have a period for several months), I never knew when to try.  Every time I wasn't on my period, we "did the deed". 

It wasn't long before I found myself researching my abnormal periods and I couldn't find one blog, one forum or one comment that expressed a similar story.  So to clarify, my irregular periods were so bad, I was all over the place from: bleeding for several months straight, lightly bleeding for weeks, bleeding heavy for a week, not having a period for months.  My periods were never the same twice and I never went long before I would bleed so heavy I wouldn't want to leave my home.

So I decided to try Vitex to help regulate my period.  I tried 3 months and it did nothing.  I then heard about Soy Iso where it could help you ovulate.  I took it for 2 cycles (one that was 21 days long and the next was 36 days long).  I finally decided to see my doctor in late 2010.  She did the pap smear, a biopsy, a trans-vaginal ultrasound and a full blood work that stated everything was fine although my progesterone was low.

early 2011- I discovered fertilityfriend.com and started tracking my cycles.

Mid 2011 - I had six months of charted periods and realized I still hadn't had the same cycle twice.

End of 2011 - I went back to the doctor and had proof this time about my cycles.  All the same test were performed and all came back fine.  Doctor wanted me to try a month of birth control to try to regulate my period.

Early 2012 - birth control did nothing for me, aside from stretch out the bleeding from 1 month to 2 months.

Mid 2012 - I decided to try ovulation tests to see if I was ovulating.  I never got one positive opk.

End of 2012 - I went back to the doctor who did all the same tests again.  At this point I was tested for PCOS or Endo 3 times and was told 3 times I didn't have either.  This time my doctor stated she thinks I have a polyp.  It was suggested then I have surgery to remove them.

Early 2013 - I was in denial I needed surgery and I fell into a depression state.

Mid 2013 - the doctor continued to call me once a week to say I needed surgery.  I finally scheduled it for August.  I had the surgery and indeed they found a handful of polyps, a uterine growth and a cyst constricting my left fallopian tube.

End 2013 (this is where I'm at now) - 2 1/2 months after surgery and I still am having irregular cycles.

I feel so hopeless and so fragile.  On Oct 10, I passed a gray matter of tissue.  I immediately called the doctor who wanted to do another ultrasound.  The next day I started bleeding heavy.  I did the ultrasound and received the results the next day.  The nurse explained that everything looked well and that they think I passed a polyp.  I was speechless.  I thought I just had surgery that repaired this issue.  She also stated I should stop bleeding by day 7 and low and behold she was right.  Now I have no idea where I stand.  I only wish my period would regulate itself.

To those who have infertility issues and you're reading this... I hope you don't feel alone.  Through this entire process one thing that has helped me greatly was reading other women's infertility stories.  Knowing that no two women are the same helped me immensely.

Introduction

There are many couples who suffer from infertility and many suffer in silence.  I am one of those ladies who suffer quietly and try to avoid all baby situations.  I decided it was time to write about infertility as it's something I've been suffering from for many years.

Hubby and I met in 2005 and I remained a women who clearly stated she never wanted children.  It wasn't because I hated kids, no... it was due to all the young women in my life having kids so young.  I went to school with a girl who had a 2 year old son and she was 16.  So the thought of having a child so young without a partner to support me sounded terrible.  So.... I avoided getting pregnant like avoiding the black plague for years.

Every baby shower or every kid birthday party I would loudly comment how I don't want children.  I suppose it was a way for me to convince myself to not get pregnant until I had a steady partner.  When my husband proposed to me, I wasn't sure I wanted to get married.  As society teaches all of us, most marriages don't work.  So I accepted and we pushed the actual wedding as far out as possible.  We ended up getting married in 2009 and there was a switch inside me that flipped.  I knew at that moment I was ready for children.

I kept it silent for a while as I was always the girlfriend, friend or daughter that claimed she never wanted children.  Finally one afternoon I sat my husband down, in early 2010 and I expressed to him I actually do want children.  His exact words were, "I knew one day you would be ready..."  How insane he knew me better than I knew myself.  At this point, everyone around me had older children and there we were 25 years old and we were just then thinking of having kids.

I continued to keep my true feelings about children to myself to prevent any heartache I would feel from friends or family's negative comments.  I didn't want to hear, "I told you so..." as every time I would mention I didn't want to be a mother someone in the circle would comment, "You watch... one day you'll want one..." And though it wasn't pride that forced me to not open up about my desire for a child but more so I just wasn't ready to hear the dreaded, "I told you...".

I thought it was going to be so easy.... I really did.  I assumed the first time I had sex without a condom or some form of birth control- POOF, I'd be pregnant... Nope.  They really need to change that in sex ed classes because obviously there is only a 5 day window in a month to get pregnant.  It's incredible how difficult it is to get pregnant even without any issues.  Either way, it wasn't happening for my husband and I.

So I am breaking the silence on infertility.  I am 28 years old, soon to be 29, and I suffer from infertility.  Do not assume because someone doesn't have children or talks about waiting for the right time means they hate children.  Maybe they're like me and suffer from infertility.